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THE CO$T OF BEING TRANSGENDER - EP. 10 RICKIS SOFA

SENSITIVE COMEDIANS

hey.
I’m taking time to write a post that by any means won’t serve my joke writing skills or my comedy career, it’s mostly for you, new comedians that I interact everyday, you come to my open mics and you ask for help and advice & I do what I can.
A lot of you are new to comedy & that's very exciting. ME? I've been doing comedy for about 9 years, performed in South Africa (30 shows), Norway (6 shows), Chicago, LA, Seattle, New Orleans, Florida, New Mexico, Ohio, Washington, Maryland & Israel (home). I think that’s all.
I’ve been hosting open mics on and off for about 5 years. Because I love it. & it’s a privilege, BUT I’ve been getting complaints from comedians that I hurt their feelings, that they are offended from things I say, that I am mean. Aside the point if i’m really offensive & mean.. As a comedian.. if your’e getting hurt and offended by jokes then you really should take a very close look at yourself and ask IS THIS THE RIGHT JOB FOR ME because listen, nobody wants to sit with a buncha sensitive comedians at a open mic, or any room really & think twice about every sentence they say to you. Listen, you can write about flowers and make it funny and not offensive, that's cool, but you have no right to tell someone else what they can or cannot joke about. keep that to yourself. nobody cares. You are not THE COMEDY GOD.
Comedians are already figuring how to have a career with the millions of people that CHOOSE to get offended by every joke they have, now we have to worry about COMEDIANS that get offended ? you are not in the right business my friends. And if this is what you really want to do then grow a thicker skin otherwise you will not survive. & yes of course I was mean and offensive but also was very funny, but YOU chose to get offended from a joke that everyone else took as a joke.
Whether you agree with this post or not. I DON’T CARE. I am going to keep going with or without your laughs, I talk about things that matter to me. Comedy is subjective, you don't have to like everyone and everything, that's completely normal, but next time you get offended keep it to yourself.. and maybe get a dog who would keep liking you regardless of how shitty you really are :D

Yours truly and offensively

RICKI SOFER

WHY AREN'T MY JOKES WORKING???

Hey guys

Didn’t write for a while, mostly because I hate writing.
Things are good tho! Finally getting paid spots in NYC!!! finally getting consistent
laughs and not hating myself after every set. I don’t tap myself in the back enough (did I write it right??) I do sometimes have to remind myself when I do well and when I don’t that I started doing comedy from scratch, my english was good, but my first language is Hebrew and iv’e only been here for 8 years, and today i’m getting paid to make people laugh in my second language, which is pretty fucking cool. And trust me, I wanted to quite time and time and time and time again, but every time I decided to quite I got more gigs and was like Fuck it, I’ll keep doing it.
So as you know, I host open mics and produce shows,I see all of you hard working trying to formulate a joke, trying to get that laugh at this sad open mic.. Well let me try to help, I don’t know anything, but maybe this could help.
95% who come to my mic keep doing NEW JOKES every time, every week new jokes, this is not how this works. I book people for shows who keep doing new jokes every week and they can’t even come up with 5 solid funny minutes . YOU HAVE TO MASTER you jokes, you have to to the same joke, that you love, and can do forever, over and over and over again, until you squeezed every aspect of that joke. Stop caring if people already heard that joke, if it’s funny they will laugh again .. You have to build up from one little premise to unlimited tags for a joke. Stop running from topic to topic, stay and BREAKDOWN a topic, keep asking, why this why that.. A lot of you go to mics and think that that’s the reaction you will get in a real show. This couldn’t be father from the truth. Unless your jokes really stink, which is possible and the only way for you to tell is to keep doing the same joke and try it in different open mics, even if you get a chuckle thats pretty good!! built on that. Try to find some real stage time, you will have to SOCIALIZE for that, like actually go outside and talk to other comedians who produce shows.
There’s so much stage time in NYC. But honestly, the more you do your jokes the funnier those jokes will be.
When do you start writing new stuff ? when you have SOLID HILARIOUS 15 MIN that you can say while you sleep. Get those TIGHT 15, of course start with tight 5, challenge yourself make it clean, or not, and then keep going, once you have those killing 15 you will know exactly why you getting paid because you know this shit works and will kill everywhere you go.
NOW, i’m not expert, i’m no CK or Prayor, but I started just like you guys, I’m still not where I want to be, but I am making my steps towards it.
These days I headline around NY, get hosting gigs and feature spots. Never in my life I thought that would be my job. So believe in yourselves … keep going, be nice to everybody, stay humble no matter what, and help to those you can. We all need help, & you never know it might be you one day.
Sorry to sound kitchy but fuck you guys, it’s my blog.

Anyways, come to my mics, come to my shows, i’ll help if I can, but if you can take anything from this blog is do the same jokes until it’s hilarious. If you think it’s funny, then figure out how to make them see it.

Good luck

xoxox

Ricki Sofer

How to start getting booked?

Hey Strangers.
It's only been 2 years since my last post. 2 years and 1 boyfriend ago.
I'm not really sure where do I start to continue this mess but i can tell
you telling jokes is still the reason I wake up in the morning. Well, at
least the mornings I have shows.
I think I should at least share how I came to get booked on clubs all over the
city and other great shows, where there's no doubt audience will show up. I'm not really sure when exactly it happened but at some point I stopped counting my open mics like i'm making money and started counting the jokes I have left after a shitty open mic.
If you can't figure out how come you can't get booked ask yourself a few questions and see where you stand. Being a female comic, and dating one, it's never easy to prove your'e funny, people assume your'e getting booked because the booker is trying to fuck you, never that
your'e actually funny. And you can't hate on your men for thinking that everybody thinks your'e smoking' hot sexy
but you can defiantly get mad that he doesn't think you're funny enough to actually get booked.
At some point, I did think bookers were trying to fuck, but I got rebooked and nothing ever happened.
The best was when females book you because then you know you're winning. This is a very hostile environment for women. We talk about our vagina on stage yet we will not talk about it with anybody off stage, we portray ourselves as easy going and putting out fast yet we will never have sex with a guy after a show. Because were' not men & we don't have that privilege. I'm doing stand up comedy for almost 7 years, I don't think this is where I planned to be after 7 years, but it's moving up, it's building, and new and amazing things are happening. I see a lot of funny comedians who
don't get booked and doing it as long as I am. I'm not an expert on this... I can just give you my point of view.. Ask yourself
are you consistently funny on every show? If a booker were to pay you will you guaranty laughs ? Are you only doing open mics?
If your'e trying to take it to the next level, you should surround yourself with people you look up to, or hang out at a club
you want to perform, TALK TO PEOPLE, the problem with comedians, is that we are great on stage but off stage we are this introverted monster
who wants to burry itself on their phone. But there's always the bartender at each comedy club that will let you exactly what you gotta do to
start getting booked there. Before putting yourself out there just make sure you have something to offer, can you make people laugh if you get up
first, last or during checks? Being funny takes time, take your time and build your set. MASTER YOUR JOKES before you move to a new one.
I started at Stand Up NY, Broadway Comedy Club & Greenwich Village Comedy club at a check spot positions FOR YEARS. Now I get guest spot. I set people for shows, I sold tickets, whatever it took to get on stage. At some point I told myself I'm good enough to get the time without busting my ass, it didn't happen right away, but as I refused to work the door, and do checks.. a year later I got guest spots. THIS is probably not going to work for everybody, everyone has their own track, i'm just trying to help and show you how it's working for me. I still don't get paid, so IM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE, but it's defiantly a step forward and i'm not taking it away from me.
I love doing comedy in NY appose to LA. In New York you can hustle your way on stage EVERY NIGHT, you can perform in front of live audience every night!! think thats amazing, you can bark for shows, seat people, sell tickets and be a horrible comic but you will still get up. If your'e in NYC your'e in the right place to do comedy, it's all happening here, live from Mcdougal st. straight to your heart. I got banned this year from a bar/club, won't mention the name, because there was a band playing during my birthday show and i wasn't having it. I'm a firm believer that Stand Up Comedy is an art that needs to be respected, we need a stage, a mic, a spot light, and no fucking band playing in the background, and i will fight for it. Respect yourself and respect your surroundings, be open to everything because you never know where it might come from next :)

xoxo

Ricki Sofer

- Also check out my podcast RICKIS SOFA on iTunes :)

THE DANGER IN DOING OPEN MICS: All your jokes are about your vagina??? Read this

It could be all in my head but it feels like the energy changes every time I get on stage at a open mic. It’s like I’m being tested and judged over and over again by the same people, same open micers. Honestly it’s hard enough to do an open mic with 17 dudes who have no interests in my jokes unless my pussy is involved. So why don’t you guys start giving female comics a break?? I seriously don’t want to write pussy jokes to get your attention, what’s your excuse?

I don’t get those comics who would do anything not to “bomb at a mic”, those comics who pay $5 to get up and were waiting over an hour and end up doing inside jokes just to cater to open micers crowd #creek&cave. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE??? Why are you wasting everybody’s time?? YES don’t get me wrong, sometimes “killing” at a mic feels like you just killed at a show in the hood, you made comedians laugh (!!), that’s a great feeling but how come you didn't do none of your jokes? Sometimes I open my set with my “best” joke just to see how judgmental is this open mic. Then I can tell if they’re with me or against me. I get that sometimes we don’t feel like doing jokes, and “waste” it over a open mic but the last thing you wanna do is try something brand new with a real crowd and then eat your ass. Sure at some point you have enough stage time to try new stuff with real crowd but if that was the case you wouldn't read this blog.

My first 2-3 years I averaged about 15-20 mics a week. Until I started doing shows on a regular basis and realized how much of my material is going to trash because I don’t get an honest response at a mic. One of my fav jokes which I close my act sometimes didn’t get ANYTHING at a open mic, and that was a wake up call for me to start trusting myself with what I believe is funny and not looking for confirmation from a buncha dudes. December was a good month for me, I had over 20 shows, almost all sold out and the more I got in front of real people the less I wanted to deal with open mics.

There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. I have to tell myself that too. WHY you don’t bomb at a open mic??? We all run the same circles, we hear each others joke again and again, I might find it funny but you won’t get a laugh at this point when I already heard it 3 times. Also comics are just waiting to get up and not necessarily focus on the things you wrote today. There’re so many reason why comics don’t laugh from other comics, could be jealousy, could be not giving a fuck and it could be your delivery.. but whatever it is it’s not because you bombed.

The best thing to do to get out of this open mic circle is produce your own show or network like a motha fucka. It’s NYC there’e like 10 shows at least at every bar with a stage, it might not be the best show u’ll do but it would be healthier than a open mic. Don’t get stack on this open mic circle, it’s unhealthy, it’s discouraging, and competitive (which could be a good thing but not in this case). It’s easy to get on but with just a little bit more effort you can get on a real show.
Sorry this wasn’t funny at all. But honestly I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
Yours truly
RICKI M. SOFER

GUIDE TO THE FEMALE COMEDIAN: Sleeping with all the comics? Don’t know what the wear on stage? This is for you.

Eps 1.
HOT OR NOT ON STAGE:

Only female comedians know the struggle between looking hot or NOT on stage. There’s nothing worse than eliminating your crowd because your’e the hot funny bitch who came to steal all the boyfriends in the crowd. Or at least that how most of us female comics feel.
Stand Up Comedy is controlled by males and lesbians and if you’re neither than you need to be really funny. For those of you who never noticed a comedy show line up you will usually find per show 7 male comics and 1 female comic or NONE. WHERE ARE THE FEMALE COMICS?? Plenty of us are out there, those who do it for a long time aka funny and decide to have kids it’s pretty much impossible to work every night when you have a kid. And let’s face it the game is pretty much over for you. Because nobody takes babies on the road. That’s gay. Sadly you become a working comic usually at the time you are ready to have a family. So that’s something you gotta consider. And honestly I don’t know where are they, must be more than Amy Schumer out there.
And I know some of you dudes saying to the screen right now “You bitches ain’t funny that’s why you ain’t getting booked” Well listen up you misogynistic asshole YES WE ARE and the reason why we might not be as funny is because we are given WAY LESS opportunities than male comics. For every show a female comic has, a male comic has 7!
It’s not for everybody. Plenty of nights I find myself walking the streets late after a show thinking I was going to get robbed, killed or rapped. That’s the life. You have to be super independent and feel comfortable traveling alone. You have to be one of guys, BUT DON’T SLEEP WITH THEM JESUS. I swear some girls do stand up to find dudes, and YOU WILL find one because they are hungry, horny and lonely and will be happy to have sex with you. And you don’t have to be funny for that. Just own a vegina. If you have decided to smash a comic then make sure you both aren’t running in the same circles because the last thing you want is talk about his small dick and he’s in the audience of this sad open mic. Find a comic that you have to go to extreme to see him (he could be on tv) or just have high standers and find a dude with a real job and stop doing comedy to find dick.
I gotta say at this point of my life I see myself with a funny dude. I love laughing and make people laugh. This is important to me more than money but not more than a hot body. You see where I’m going with this?
Back to the subject, I find myself pretty manly on stage and that’s why it was always weird for me to dress up all sexy. Not to mention I didn’t want to distract my audience with my tits all out. Wrong show. I want people to be like damn she’s hot but it’s more important for me to hear damn she’s funny. I’m performing 4 years now and JUST NOW I’m feeling more comfortable dressing like I’m going on a date for shows. A date I already know I wanna have sex with the dude. I usually dress like a male comic, jeans and t-shirt. I could never feel comfortable talking to a bunch of people without a bra, with my nips all sticking out, or mad high heel shoes, or see through clothes, and at the same time I gotta have makeup on. The look I was going for “ I’m not here to take your boyfriend Ladies!” And for dudes “I’m awesome but not your type relax”.
I think over all no female comic should look like she just came out of a beauty pageant. It just feels wrong, are you an actress that looking for attention? Are you a model who didn’t make it and people keep telling you you’re funny? Well that might not be enough. Doing stand up you have to let go of your pretty self and let your ugly face loss to get the good laughs. It’s worth it. And because you’re pretty people don’t expect you to be as funny so sometimes you gotta work harder. Ugly people just get sympathy right away pretty girls get a whole different limited acceptance because people assume you know nothing about life and you get all your shit for free because you’re pretty. And they are probably right. I was one ugly kid and teenager and literally just turned good looking so stop judging. I HAD ONE EYEBROW. I KNOW PAIN.
To end my first episode on this ladies.. Wear on stage whatever YOU FEEL COMFOTABLE IN. fuck everybody else, go DO YOU ! kill that shit in a dress or a robe but make sure you have some jokes.
Good Luck
Yours truly,
Ricki Maya Sofer

Example for line ups in major comedy clubs in NYC. I know some ladies will find this discouraging but this actually motivates me !

AND YOU ARE INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY SHOW PARTY!!!