I’ve never been to a country that gives cute girls names to natural disasters. If this would happen in Israel I’m pretty sure someone would get sued for this. OMG your name is Lilach ? I heard you killed million Jews last year. Good for you!!
Lucky for us (well me), Israel don’t really get hurricanes or heavy earth quicks, we just have terrorism. That’s just something we have. Here in America I wouldn’t be surprised if parents would take the opportunity and name their new born – Sandy. Would you be surprised? Didn’t think so. I’m sure that there’s a strong connection between all the chicks that named after a natural disaster, like they all gave the guy that named them some disease or something, maybe Aids or Chlamydia. Or Maybe just ugly looking kids. You know how men like revenge.. Is it really that hard to make up a name that hasn’t been used on a REAL human being?? Grow up.
What did I do during the storm? Well, dear readers, I prayed. Wasn’t sure who I should pray for, I am in America as you know, so technically Jesus is closer. But I am still a Jew so I decided to give a shout out to my god and all the other gods who already dealt with hurricanes. I know for a fact my god dosen’t have much experience in that field so my expectations weren’t very high. Yet my building was, so I went ahead and prayed anyways. I only prayed to stay alive, little did I know I’d need electricity and water and some god damn phone reception when I stay alive, I just didn’t plan that far. I should prob have more faith next time, and hand all my requests in advance. It’s like getting a Jaguar without wheels. It’s a pretty sweet deal to stay alive but I could really use the other things that will help me function.
Not being able to communicate for 5 days, and having to walk everywhere, was a pretty annoying challenge. there were buses but every time I saw a bus it made me think: “Wow this looks familiar.. Oh yeah Holocaust”, So that wasn’t an option. Too soon?
So what did I do for 5 days? Had great conversation with no interruptions, can you imagine having hours long conversation with a person and all this time the focus is on each other? I don’t remember the last time I talked to somebody without him/her holding the phone and looking at it while I talk to their face and they always say: “Keep talking I’m listening”. I should really stop doing it too. God we are a shitty generation.
Lucky me, one of my good friends lives around my hood (which is rare in America) so I was able to walk over. And let me tell ya something, the first day we lost everything (water, power, reception, sanity) I walked over to her house because I was going CRAZY and really there’s really no other direction u can go from my apt.. and surprised her. I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO HAPPY TO SEE ME. I swear. It was almost like we got separated at birth. My skinny, tall, blond sister. That bitch got all the good genes. I think the whole thing was so traumatizing that both of us were just shocked we’re still alive. Good friends are hard to find, especially in the storm.
It was crazy to see a city like NY going thru something like that, a city where nobody smiles if they don’t have to, a city where everyone are in a rush all the time and regardless of the season, they always have an umbrella. It kinda made New Yorkers take a step back and reevaluate shit again. Not sure what that shit is, because honestly A day in NY always feels like another step in a survival game. This is not LA when shit goes down you take your car and get away, here you gotta stay with everybody and deal with all the crap because the subways are down.
Here is something u can’t do while Sandy is happening: Weight Watchers diet because –A- u don’t have water (and basically you move in the bathroom when u start Weight Watchers) and B fiber is you worst enemy when ur toilet isn’t working. So guess who ate everything else but diet products in the past 5 days? That’s right your fellow Jew here. Yep I managed to gain weight, with shitty food and a lot of exercise. That’s how good I am.
I did learn that life is short and you gotta make the best of it. Not that I didn’t know it before, but this was a nice reminder, and another thing, don’t take anything for granted: not water, not electricity especially not friends.
Have a safe weekend.
MUCH LOVIN'
Ricki Maya Sofer
No comments:
Post a Comment