How to start getting booked?

Hey Strangers.
It's only been 2 years since my last post. 2 years and 1 boyfriend ago.
I'm not really sure where do I start to continue this mess but i can tell
you telling jokes is still the reason I wake up in the morning. Well, at
least the mornings I have shows.
I think I should at least share how I came to get booked on clubs all over the
city and other great shows, where there's no doubt audience will show up. I'm not really sure when exactly it happened but at some point I stopped counting my open mics like i'm making money and started counting the jokes I have left after a shitty open mic.
If you can't figure out how come you can't get booked ask yourself a few questions and see where you stand. Being a female comic, and dating one, it's never easy to prove your'e funny, people assume your'e getting booked because the booker is trying to fuck you, never that
your'e actually funny. And you can't hate on your men for thinking that everybody thinks your'e smoking' hot sexy
but you can defiantly get mad that he doesn't think you're funny enough to actually get booked.
At some point, I did think bookers were trying to fuck, but I got rebooked and nothing ever happened.
The best was when females book you because then you know you're winning. This is a very hostile environment for women. We talk about our vagina on stage yet we will not talk about it with anybody off stage, we portray ourselves as easy going and putting out fast yet we will never have sex with a guy after a show. Because were' not men & we don't have that privilege. I'm doing stand up comedy for almost 7 years, I don't think this is where I planned to be after 7 years, but it's moving up, it's building, and new and amazing things are happening. I see a lot of funny comedians who
don't get booked and doing it as long as I am. I'm not an expert on this... I can just give you my point of view.. Ask yourself
are you consistently funny on every show? If a booker were to pay you will you guaranty laughs ? Are you only doing open mics?
If your'e trying to take it to the next level, you should surround yourself with people you look up to, or hang out at a club
you want to perform, TALK TO PEOPLE, the problem with comedians, is that we are great on stage but off stage we are this introverted monster
who wants to burry itself on their phone. But there's always the bartender at each comedy club that will let you exactly what you gotta do to
start getting booked there. Before putting yourself out there just make sure you have something to offer, can you make people laugh if you get up
first, last or during checks? Being funny takes time, take your time and build your set. MASTER YOUR JOKES before you move to a new one.
I started at Stand Up NY, Broadway Comedy Club & Greenwich Village Comedy club at a check spot positions FOR YEARS. Now I get guest spot. I set people for shows, I sold tickets, whatever it took to get on stage. At some point I told myself I'm good enough to get the time without busting my ass, it didn't happen right away, but as I refused to work the door, and do checks.. a year later I got guest spots. THIS is probably not going to work for everybody, everyone has their own track, i'm just trying to help and show you how it's working for me. I still don't get paid, so IM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE, but it's defiantly a step forward and i'm not taking it away from me.
I love doing comedy in NY appose to LA. In New York you can hustle your way on stage EVERY NIGHT, you can perform in front of live audience every night!! think thats amazing, you can bark for shows, seat people, sell tickets and be a horrible comic but you will still get up. If your'e in NYC your'e in the right place to do comedy, it's all happening here, live from Mcdougal st. straight to your heart. I got banned this year from a bar/club, won't mention the name, because there was a band playing during my birthday show and i wasn't having it. I'm a firm believer that Stand Up Comedy is an art that needs to be respected, we need a stage, a mic, a spot light, and no fucking band playing in the background, and i will fight for it. Respect yourself and respect your surroundings, be open to everything because you never know where it might come from next :)

xoxo

Ricki Sofer

- Also check out my podcast RICKIS SOFA on iTunes :)

THE DANGER IN DOING OPEN MICS: All your jokes are about your vagina??? Read this

It could be all in my head but it feels like the energy changes every time I get on stage at a open mic. It’s like I’m being tested and judged over and over again by the same people, same open micers. Honestly it’s hard enough to do an open mic with 17 dudes who have no interests in my jokes unless my pussy is involved. So why don’t you guys start giving female comics a break?? I seriously don’t want to write pussy jokes to get your attention, what’s your excuse?

I don’t get those comics who would do anything not to “bomb at a mic”, those comics who pay $5 to get up and were waiting over an hour and end up doing inside jokes just to cater to open micers crowd #creek&cave. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE??? Why are you wasting everybody’s time?? YES don’t get me wrong, sometimes “killing” at a mic feels like you just killed at a show in the hood, you made comedians laugh (!!), that’s a great feeling but how come you didn't do none of your jokes? Sometimes I open my set with my “best” joke just to see how judgmental is this open mic. Then I can tell if they’re with me or against me. I get that sometimes we don’t feel like doing jokes, and “waste” it over a open mic but the last thing you wanna do is try something brand new with a real crowd and then eat your ass. Sure at some point you have enough stage time to try new stuff with real crowd but if that was the case you wouldn't read this blog.

My first 2-3 years I averaged about 15-20 mics a week. Until I started doing shows on a regular basis and realized how much of my material is going to trash because I don’t get an honest response at a mic. One of my fav jokes which I close my act sometimes didn’t get ANYTHING at a open mic, and that was a wake up call for me to start trusting myself with what I believe is funny and not looking for confirmation from a buncha dudes. December was a good month for me, I had over 20 shows, almost all sold out and the more I got in front of real people the less I wanted to deal with open mics.

There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. There’s no such thing bombing at a open mic. I have to tell myself that too. WHY you don’t bomb at a open mic??? We all run the same circles, we hear each others joke again and again, I might find it funny but you won’t get a laugh at this point when I already heard it 3 times. Also comics are just waiting to get up and not necessarily focus on the things you wrote today. There’re so many reason why comics don’t laugh from other comics, could be jealousy, could be not giving a fuck and it could be your delivery.. but whatever it is it’s not because you bombed.

The best thing to do to get out of this open mic circle is produce your own show or network like a motha fucka. It’s NYC there’e like 10 shows at least at every bar with a stage, it might not be the best show u’ll do but it would be healthier than a open mic. Don’t get stack on this open mic circle, it’s unhealthy, it’s discouraging, and competitive (which could be a good thing but not in this case). It’s easy to get on but with just a little bit more effort you can get on a real show.
Sorry this wasn’t funny at all. But honestly I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
Yours truly
RICKI M. SOFER

GUIDE TO THE FEMALE COMEDIAN: Sleeping with all the comics? Don’t know what the wear on stage? This is for you.

Eps 1.
HOT OR NOT ON STAGE:

Only female comedians know the struggle between looking hot or NOT on stage. There’s nothing worse than eliminating your crowd because your’e the hot funny bitch who came to steal all the boyfriends in the crowd. Or at least that how most of us female comics feel.
Stand Up Comedy is controlled by males and lesbians and if you’re neither than you need to be really funny. For those of you who never noticed a comedy show line up you will usually find per show 7 male comics and 1 female comic or NONE. WHERE ARE THE FEMALE COMICS?? Plenty of us are out there, those who do it for a long time aka funny and decide to have kids it’s pretty much impossible to work every night when you have a kid. And let’s face it the game is pretty much over for you. Because nobody takes babies on the road. That’s gay. Sadly you become a working comic usually at the time you are ready to have a family. So that’s something you gotta consider. And honestly I don’t know where are they, must be more than Amy Schumer out there.
And I know some of you dudes saying to the screen right now “You bitches ain’t funny that’s why you ain’t getting booked” Well listen up you misogynistic asshole YES WE ARE and the reason why we might not be as funny is because we are given WAY LESS opportunities than male comics. For every show a female comic has, a male comic has 7!
It’s not for everybody. Plenty of nights I find myself walking the streets late after a show thinking I was going to get robbed, killed or rapped. That’s the life. You have to be super independent and feel comfortable traveling alone. You have to be one of guys, BUT DON’T SLEEP WITH THEM JESUS. I swear some girls do stand up to find dudes, and YOU WILL find one because they are hungry, horny and lonely and will be happy to have sex with you. And you don’t have to be funny for that. Just own a vegina. If you have decided to smash a comic then make sure you both aren’t running in the same circles because the last thing you want is talk about his small dick and he’s in the audience of this sad open mic. Find a comic that you have to go to extreme to see him (he could be on tv) or just have high standers and find a dude with a real job and stop doing comedy to find dick.
I gotta say at this point of my life I see myself with a funny dude. I love laughing and make people laugh. This is important to me more than money but not more than a hot body. You see where I’m going with this?
Back to the subject, I find myself pretty manly on stage and that’s why it was always weird for me to dress up all sexy. Not to mention I didn’t want to distract my audience with my tits all out. Wrong show. I want people to be like damn she’s hot but it’s more important for me to hear damn she’s funny. I’m performing 4 years now and JUST NOW I’m feeling more comfortable dressing like I’m going on a date for shows. A date I already know I wanna have sex with the dude. I usually dress like a male comic, jeans and t-shirt. I could never feel comfortable talking to a bunch of people without a bra, with my nips all sticking out, or mad high heel shoes, or see through clothes, and at the same time I gotta have makeup on. The look I was going for “ I’m not here to take your boyfriend Ladies!” And for dudes “I’m awesome but not your type relax”.
I think over all no female comic should look like she just came out of a beauty pageant. It just feels wrong, are you an actress that looking for attention? Are you a model who didn’t make it and people keep telling you you’re funny? Well that might not be enough. Doing stand up you have to let go of your pretty self and let your ugly face loss to get the good laughs. It’s worth it. And because you’re pretty people don’t expect you to be as funny so sometimes you gotta work harder. Ugly people just get sympathy right away pretty girls get a whole different limited acceptance because people assume you know nothing about life and you get all your shit for free because you’re pretty. And they are probably right. I was one ugly kid and teenager and literally just turned good looking so stop judging. I HAD ONE EYEBROW. I KNOW PAIN.
To end my first episode on this ladies.. Wear on stage whatever YOU FEEL COMFOTABLE IN. fuck everybody else, go DO YOU ! kill that shit in a dress or a robe but make sure you have some jokes.
Good Luck
Yours truly,
Ricki Maya Sofer

Example for line ups in major comedy clubs in NYC. I know some ladies will find this discouraging but this actually motivates me !

AND YOU ARE INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY SHOW PARTY!!!

Israel ...Los Angeles...New York.... And Stand Up Comedy...

Hello gang.

This month I'm turning 2 years in New York, 4.5 years in America and 30 years of total life.
2.5 of them were in LA. Dear LA.
Which brings me to my next blog thingy I'm about to write.. Where would I rather live for the rest of my life? NY? LA? or maybe back to Israel...??
I can say outta the 2 years living in LA, 1.5 years I spent in traffic. and the rest of the time on stage.
I started doing comedy in LA, it's a good place to start I would say, not intimidating. LA makes things look like no one takes things seriously, blame the weed, blame the sun.. but people are relaxed and with no real concerns or real problems. You can survive with making no money, and you will still have a good time. Up until 1AM because that when SHIT IS CLOSED. And that life style is shown on stage and that's mostly why most of the stand up you hear in LA makes you go: “you guys seriously have thins shit written down somewhere?” . You will hear the same thing from comics.. which is basically how much nothing I have going on in my life because I smoke too much.
Don’t expect to get paid in LA. If you do it won’t be more then $25 and you won’t get it before 60 days. And that how clubs in LA work. Of course you can do out of the city gigs and get paid, but those will be a bit more difficult to get.
If you move from NY to LA you will definitely think LA is a joke.


LA is tricky. You will be surrounded by illusions, and so much bullshit it's so easy to get distracted. I do miss the sun. I was able to get on stage every night between 2-5 times, because I had a car (I’m a grown woman….!!) and there's plenty of OPEN MICS to do your shit. And I didn't wait for nobody. Plus I was bored and had nothing better to do. And I’m a loser and had to talk about it.

I left LA because I needed a change. This city is not built for young people with the will to live. It's boring, unless you're a working actor, producer, director, which i'm non of those. so I left. Don't get me wrong my heart was broken, I have a new family there, but I know, eventually when I don't have to work i'll be back there. (PLEASE GOD.. I hate working).

The first thing I noticed when I moved to NY and started going up on those stages is that people here are REALLY FUNNY. I was like holy shit girls are not pretty here, and they are funny, fuck I'm not special anymore!!! Comics talking about real problems. I was like shit. I felt like I went back 2 years. Doing my jokes and not really getting any reaction. Anyways, first 2 months in NY I did over 50 black (oh excuse me.. Urban) rooms, because black people love me (or maybe just the guys), and didn't mind me bombing. I ate my ass off. Again and again. I went to the Bronx, Long Island, Harlem, Brooklyn, Queens, I learned NY in 2 months. And I'm a slow learner. I'd get lost in my neighborhood, ask my mom.

My first year in NY I honestly want to say there wasn't a day of not thinking about going back to LA. I hated EVERYTHING. The dirt, the people in my face all the time, the weather, the WEATHER!!!!!! I can punch that weather in the face! top it all I wasn't getting much laughs, I'm sweating all the time, my hair looks like shit, and it's actually more expensive to live in this dump. then why am I doing this to myself???

Things got better tho. I met some friends, found my way in the comedy scene. I barked for stage time, (For LA peeps that means standing on the street like an asshole and try to get people into a comedy show), I didn't bark for long, I got into fights really fast (just arguments relax) , and ended up barking for a club and getting money for it and stage time. And that helped me meet the club owner, and work at comedy clubs in NY.(whoo hoo finally a break). Barking and trying to get people to watch a show when there's 3 more shows going on the same block ISN'T EASY AT ALL. I did it for a min until I got into beef with club manager and then I had to find new ways to get on stage.
Of course I kept getting up, meeting every fucking person and at some point produced a show, host mics, help producing shows, sit people at shows, be everywhere do everything.
That's the main difference about those 2 cities, LA you can't really work your way up like NY, here you can actually clean toilets and get more stage time, I'm not saying it's cool i'm just saying it's possible. NY NY ??!?!

I know I didn't made it yet. but I don't wanna forget this shit. so shhhhhhhhhhhh.


anyways, I miss my car. I hate people touching me on the subway. I hate dropping things on the floor and just leave it there outta fear of catching diseases. I hate this freaking cold, specially cuz I lost weight and I can't show it off and I KNOW it's not gonna last. But NY, I love the night life, I love the comedy clubs, comics actually get paid here (THE SAME DAY!!) Here you make btw $20-$40 on a week day and $75-$85 for a weekend spot. And if you get to do the Village underground you can get $125 a set. JUST SAYING WTF LA?!

On my 30 birthday I got to do a show at Greenwhich Village Comedy Club and invited all my friends. I did my 20 min special. I had 40 people coming to see my dumb face. I was surprised and very grateful. I can tell you one thing.. If someone would have told me 5 years ago i'd be celebrate my 30 birthday at a comedy club, doing stand up comedy in English, in NYC with 40 of your friends that you don't even know yet, i'd be like HA (or Cha) whatever. But you never know.
I'm still Ricki from the smallest city in Israel. Akko (the hood). look that shit up.. Oh can't find it?! Told you it's small.

I miss Israel. I miss my family, my friends. all my friends now are parents. with kids and shit. I never had that kid bag in me, it was always career. My mom is like wtf Ricki but she did the same only in the 70's light version for girls gone independent.
I hope to buy a house in LA. I don't want to live here for the rest of my life. I want trees, and nature, and recycle my bottles! I hate the subway. I hate waiting. This city reminds me too much of Israel, this constant pressure, accomplishments, fast, now.. I don't need this, I want be on the beach in Santa Monica and smoke weed. The medical shit.
I'm excited, Because i'm inspired here by so many talented people, hard working, and not so hard working yet talented enough to not work hard.

But honestly if you are debating, or need a change.. and you can make a change at this point of your life then just do it. Sometimes you want to make a change and you can’t. I’d do the whole thing all over again. I want to have choices, I don’t get people who lived in one place all their life and they prefer where they live over anywhere else… even tho they never been anywhere else..
Just keep in mind it’s a big world, go expend yourself.. you will grow as a person and as a comic.

Have a happy spring New Yorkers.


Yours truly <3

Ricki

This is a link (you gotta copy paste..) to one of my shows.. Enjoy???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKFBSoXdGX4

Why I would take Sandy on Hamas any day...

I’ve never been to a country that gives cute girls names to natural disasters. If this would happen in Israel I’m pretty sure someone would get sued for this. OMG your name is Lilach ? I heard you killed million Jews last year. Good for you!!

Lucky for us (well me), Israel don’t really get hurricanes or heavy earth quicks, we just have terrorism. That’s just something we have. Here in America I wouldn’t be surprised if parents would take the opportunity and name their new born – Sandy. Would you be surprised? Didn’t think so. I’m sure that there’s a strong connection between all the chicks that named after a natural disaster, like they all gave the guy that named them some disease or something, maybe Aids or Chlamydia. Or Maybe just ugly looking kids. You know how men like revenge.. Is it really that hard to make up a name that hasn’t been used on a REAL human being?? Grow up.

What did I do during the storm? Well, dear readers, I prayed. Wasn’t sure who I should pray for, I am in America as you know, so technically Jesus is closer. But I am still a Jew so I decided to give a shout out to my god and all the other gods who already dealt with hurricanes. I know for a fact my god dosen’t have much experience in that field so my expectations weren’t very high. Yet my building was, so I went ahead and prayed anyways. I only prayed to stay alive, little did I know I’d need electricity and water and some god damn phone reception when I stay alive, I just didn’t plan that far. I should prob have more faith next time, and hand all my requests in advance. It’s like getting a Jaguar without wheels. It’s a pretty sweet deal to stay alive but I could really use the other things that will help me function.

Not being able to communicate for 5 days, and having to walk everywhere, was a pretty annoying challenge. there were buses but every time I saw a bus it made me think: “Wow this looks familiar.. Oh yeah Holocaust”, So that wasn’t an option. Too soon?

So what did I do for 5 days? Had great conversation with no interruptions, can you imagine having hours long conversation with a person and all this time the focus is on each other? I don’t remember the last time I talked to somebody without him/her holding the phone and looking at it while I talk to their face and they always say: “Keep talking I’m listening”. I should really stop doing it too. God we are a shitty generation.

Lucky me, one of my good friends lives around my hood (which is rare in America) so I was able to walk over. And let me tell ya something, the first day we lost everything (water, power, reception, sanity) I walked over to her house because I was going CRAZY and really there’s really no other direction u can go from my apt.. and surprised her. I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO HAPPY TO SEE ME. I swear. It was almost like we got separated at birth. My skinny, tall, blond sister. That bitch got all the good genes. I think the whole thing was so traumatizing that both of us were just shocked we’re still alive. Good friends are hard to find, especially in the storm.

It was crazy to see a city like NY going thru something like that, a city where nobody smiles if they don’t have to, a city where everyone are in a rush all the time and regardless of the season, they always have an umbrella. It kinda made New Yorkers take a step back and reevaluate shit again. Not sure what that shit is, because honestly A day in NY always feels like another step in a survival game. This is not LA when shit goes down you take your car and get away, here you gotta stay with everybody and deal with all the crap because the subways are down.

Here is something u can’t do while Sandy is happening: Weight Watchers diet because –A- u don’t have water (and basically you move in the bathroom when u start Weight Watchers) and B fiber is you worst enemy when ur toilet isn’t working. So guess who ate everything else but diet products in the past 5 days? That’s right your fellow Jew here. Yep I managed to gain weight, with shitty food and a lot of exercise. That’s how good I am.
I did learn that life is short and you gotta make the best of it. Not that I didn’t know it before, but this was a nice reminder, and another thing, don’t take anything for granted: not water, not electricity especially not friends.

Have a safe weekend.

MUCH LOVIN'

Ricki Maya Sofer

Why I would never watch Stand Up comedy at a theather ever Again? My take on Louis CK at NY city Center.

People kept asking me how was watching Louis CK at New York city center? So before I answer here are some facts: New York City Center can hold 2,750 people, and it did that night, I only paid $45 bucks (because you can do that on his site), I love CK (!), & there were no tv screens.

The seat I got was 3rd before the last one way on top. Way way on top. The stage never seemed so far away. Show started RIGHT ON TIME, which I loved, young talented comic opened for him, he looked like a white dot on the stage, I enjoyed him. 10 min later he brings up the king of comedy: Louis CK. I don’t remember when I was this excited to see a show, to see a performer. But let me tell ya I WAS EXCITED. The couple in front of me totally wasn’t, they actually brought beer bottles and cheered in the middle of the show. I wanted to use all my fighting skills on them, yet I didn’t. Anyways, show started, assholes in the front keep posting pics on Instagram, and Louie talking about how everyone on their cell phones these days and how this is the only way we communicate, and basically we suck as a generation.

Most of the show I didn’t hear my section laughing. It reached the point when I cracked on some jokes that I almost had to excuse my self for being the loudest on my section. Here is the thing, it was hard to focus, there were so many distractions to the eye before you actually got to see CK. The main thing was that he never looked up, he kept his head facing the ppl with the amazing seats. So basically I got to see his balding head the entire time. And don’t get me wrong, I like red heads.

As a comedian, I know that when you do have huge crowd, you really gotta focus on a few people sitting in the front, otherwise u might get a little too nervous. It’s easier to talk to 20 people than to 200. So yeah I get it if that’s the reason he didn’t look up, but let’s face it, what are the odds he didn’t look up because he was nervous? None. CK has 28 shows in NY, all of them ARE SOLD OUT.

As a comic who never went to see stand up at a venue so big I gotta say it was very impressing, and interesting at the same time to see how he handles that, and how he went right into his jokes without us even paying attention. His jokes this time were very impersonal, I would even call this show: Louis CK: Random Thoughts. I wasn’t impressed by most of them, I don’t remember a lot of them, but still an hour and 20 min went by very fast.

I really wanted to see him crack his awkward smile with his awesome teeth, I wanted to see where he was looking (if it’s not me I gotta know the competition), how he’s holding the mic, and basically I wanted to learn. I don’t really think I did. I learned it’s a great way to make A LOT of money in a very short time (I am Jewish after all), I learned ppl are assholes and they go to watch a show just so they could Instagram that shit, I learned that theaters don’t have 2 drinks min!, and I learned that even tho he had a very busy year, producing, writing, directing the show Louie, he is still a normal human being, a hard worker, and a fantastic comedian. Would I go again? Prob not, unless I get the front seat.

Cheers

Ricki.

I-Toilet….

I dropped my iphone to the toilet yesterday. When you hear something falling in the toilet right when your ass facing the toilet you know your damp just cost you 400 bucks. Without thinking I reached for my drowning friend and in my mind I already knew, nobody survives toilets. I looked at it, looked at god, (I was at a Jewish kosher restaurant so I felt closer) and started praying. Now, I’m a soldier I would save it from morning pee to late night damp, as long as it mine. If it was yours I’d prob flash it with your shit and would never be able to look you in the eye again. Please remember to flash.
I got out of the bathroom, phone wet, but works, no sound, the flash light is on, I never used it.. I knew then, it’s dying. Phone dying in my hands, there’s still a certain comfort that at least you still have the phone, & no one else has a hold of your dick pic collection.
Took a bus to the iphone store on 59th street. When you see more employees than costumers, you know your phone should be cheaper. Does costumer service really has to be THAT GOOD??
2 min later I was already telling the story to a blue tshirt guy who seems to have all the answers. I told him it got water in it, I didn’t say toilet, I didn’t want him to think I’m gross, plus he was kinda cute & I got a reputation to keep. (What?) He made an appointment for 7.50, which was an hour(!!) away, so I had to make this look more urgent, I gathered all my acting skills (which are none) and said:” pretend this is your sister will you really let her wait for an hour?” I guess the face I made got him, and I felt like he was opening up so he was able to squeeze me between other peeps. Not until I said: “do Iphones survive toilets?” And he asked: “did it fell in the toilet?” I said:” yeah, I know I’m idiot..” Little did I know how much of an idiot when he said WE CAN’T TAKE CARE OF PHONES THAT WERE IN THE TOILET because of bacteria. Now, I didn’t really see what the problem was, so I just told him OH cool so just pretend you never heard me saying that.. am I next?
No I wasn’t next, he apologized with a winning smile, and said you might as well get a new one, it’ll die, for sure. Call me sensitive but isn’t there a nicer way to break such bad news?? He didn’t even blink. My heart was broken, he didn’t care.
So apparently if your phone drowns the ultimate advice was to put it in rice, or blow dry it. So here you learned something new. My phone survived. It’s working, singing, smiling, ringing, just one thing is missing, my dick pic collection, oh well, there were mostly Jews.

Happy Summa.

R